This collection of stories was the first book Rhodes wrote. It was mainly written in a horrible brown maisonette on London Road in Sheffield in 1996 and 1997. It first came out in 2001. Here are some reviews:
“Funny, sharp, strange and steeped in melancholy… Rhodes’ assured stories drop us with ease into his unique universe.” THE FACE
“You won’t find a finer collection of short love stories anywhere in the land. Rhodes’ slightly surreal and timeless tales subtly show off his mastery of the English language as he refuses to waste a syllable. All in all, one of those rare collections that make the heart sing. Really. *****” JOCKEY SLUT
“Anthropology was both funny and unsettling. Don’t Tell Me The Truth About Love carries on from there. These are fairy tales written in the detached, ethereal tones of the brothers Grimm, with an elegant simplicity that lets you find the humour if you want to. Needless to say, none of these cautionary tales ends happily ever after, but Rhodes’s narrative skill, his clear diagrams and his wrong-footing humour sweeten the pill immeasurably.” THE TELEGRAPH
“Is there a more innovative, but also intensely readable, writer than Dan Rhodes working in Britain today?” THE BIG ISSUE
“Dan Rhodes’ Don’t Tell Me The Truth About Love is another example of a modern writer prepared to take risks with the form, and the stories here are almost as ethereal as love itself.” THE LATEST
“…set somewhere between Boccaccio and Hans Christian Andersen but with the eroticism and sometimes physical disgust out in the open. Each (story) operates in a self-contained world which then seems to leak through to ours… Love might be a no-win situation, but it is also a secular vision – a sort of Eden with bear-traps.” TIME OUT
“A stunning collection… Buy it for anyone you care about, including yourself.” HEAT
“…all extremely readable – thought provoking as well as entertaining. As a young British writer dealing with love in a whimsical, serio-comic mode, Rhodes clearly risks being tarred with the same brush as Alain de Botton. Fortunately he is too skillful a storyteller for such an unflattering comparison to hold true.” TLS
“A variety of strange and beautiful women drift in and out of these stories, which are both bizarre and very funny. Rhodes is clearly destined for bigger things.” THE DUBLINER
“The best new writer in Britain.” STEWART LEE, THE GUARDIAN
“Often macabre, always musical, Rhodes flirts with laugh-out-loud absurdity but stays in close contact with pathos… his arch, askew take on the heart’s muddle flourishes.” UNCUT
“The beauty of his writing is persuasive and his themes are universal.” THE TIMES
“A supremely talented writer.” GLASGOW EVENING TIMES
“Full of the strangest, most original stories about the oldest subject, love, ever written.” THE MINNESOTA DAILY
“Strange? Yeah, well so is love…” B MAGAZINE
The music in the story The Carolingian Period was written by Terry Edwards.
JAPAN, Chuokoron-Shinisa, ISBN: 4122047390
This is perhaps the most wonderful jacket of any Dan Rhodes book. Maybe even of any book ever. The picture depicts Beautiful Consuela from the final story in the collection, and each of the seven hearts represents a story in the book. The artist is Yoko Tanji, and more of her work can be viewed here.
UK, F***** E*****. ISBN: 1841151955
There’s not much to say about this hardback, except that it contains an error on page 9 – “professor man” should read simply “professor”. It’s an in-house look-alike of the hardback of Anthropology. Better editions are available.
UK, Canongate. ISBN 1841956139
This is the third and current edition, and is wildly preferable to the one above.
NETHERLANDS, Vassallucci. ISBN: 9050003605
UK, F***** E*****. ISBN: 1841151963
This was the second UK edition. It’s a step up in quality from the blue one, but we still recommend the red one.
ITALY, Garzanti. ISBN: 8811665094
FINLAND, Sammakko. ISBN: 9525194906
JAPAN, Andrews Press. ISBN: 4901868225
This was the first publication of DTMTTAL in Japan.
MISSING EDITIONS: Sometimes editions take their time appearing, or fall through the cracks completely. We still don’t know if Oceano in Mexico ever published their edition…