My Valentine’s gift to the world…
I decided that our first Valentine’s day together would be the perfect time to let Amara know just how much she meant to me. I held her hand across the candlelit dinner table, gazed into her beautiful eyes and told her that I loved her. “I would climb the highest mountain for you,” I said. “I would walk across burning coals for you. I would swim the seven seas for you. I would…”
“Stop there,” she said. “What was that last one?”
“Er… swim the seven seas, I think.”
“I’ll choose that.” She left the room, and returned moments later holding my swimming trunks. “You get into these, and I’ll drive us to the beach.”
An hour later, cold English water lapped around my ankles.
“Well?” she said. “Don’t just stand there shivering – off you go, and I’ll see you in Antigua.”
I had meant every word, and without another thought I started swimming.
When, at last, I reached my destination, there she was, her golden body faultless in a tiny bikini. Beside her stood a tall, tanned and muscular man.
“Who’s he?” I asked, as I struggled to catch my breath.
“‘He’ is Jorge,” she explained. “He’s been a very good friend to me during this anxious time, and the least you could do is be civil to him.”
I realised how rude I must have sounded, and did my best to make up for it. “Hello Jorge,” I said, raising my hand in a friendly wave. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“No comprende,” he said.
Amara yawned. “We’re very tired, aren’t we Jorge? It’s time for our nap.”
“No comprende,” he said, his smile revealing perfectly white teeth as he ran his fingers through his thick dark hair.
She turned to me. “That’s the Atlantic done. Do the Pacific next – Jorge and I will see you in Thailand.”
As she and Jorge went off for their nap, I waded back into the water. I was so glad that I had finally found that special someone. All I could think of was Amara, and as I began the long swim south towards Cape Horn I could feel my heart overflowing with love.
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If that was up your street, please seek psychiatric help – but not before rushing out and buying my new book ‘Marry Me’, where you’ll find plenty more of this sort of thing.
Thanks to competition winner @Lisa_Reiter for the name.
And congratulations to me for working out how to format paragraphs in WordPress. They don’t make it easy.
© Dan Rhodes 2014